Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dust Off Those Mirrors, People!

While having lunch recently with some friends, we noticed an older lady leaving the table next to us wearing a blouse with cut-outs. You know, cut-outs - areas where the fabric has been cut out. In this case, the holes were crescent moon shapes about 5 inches across covered with a flesh-covered net - exactly like they use in dance costumes. It was really disconcerting, especially the cut-outs in the breast area. I think she did not notice when she purchased the top - it was one of those busy prints with lots of colors/shapes/things going on. She didn't seem the type of 80 year old to wear a garment full of holes, or would-be holes.

This led us to a conversation about the Things People Wear and whether said people own a full-length mirror. This is not to say I have never made a fashion faux pas, or that my lunch companions are regulars on the local best dressed list. However, as hot weather seems to have a direct correlation with wardrobe mishaps - here are a few summer clothing facts that will let us all end the season on a high note.

  • A straight skirt will rise several inches when you sit down - plan accordingly

  • Sleeveless garments are not the smart choice if you have UADD*

  • 'Whale Tails' may be more trendy than VPL, but they're not more appealing

  • Unless you're incredibly fit, exposing your midriff is not a good idea (if you're not sure if you're lean enough for that outfit, chances are you're not and what's less sexy than a muffin top?)

  • The whole foot should fit on/in the sandal - nothing overhanging, please

  • Sandals/flip-flops draw attention to your feet, so don't forget the heel cream, nail polish, etc.

So, that's it really, just a few thoughts on summer fashions and a look at one famous summer outfit from The Seven Year Itch. Hope you enjoy the rest of your summer, while showing off your perfect pedicure in your well-fitting sandals, of course!


*Under Arm Dingle Dangle - enough said!

2 comments:

  1. Hysterical... but oh so true. Sometimes you just have wonder...did you SEE what you put on today?

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  2. hahahaha! oh my gosh. i wonder if that lady had any idea! poor thing. she needs a young shopping buddy with good eyes. :) i love your list. it's so true, especially the midriff one. sometimes, it blows my mind what people walk out of the house wearing!

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